I watched the Color Purple tonight. not gonna lie...I love the soul that black people have. esp at the end when there just going to town singing in the church. one day. ugh if only. such a powerful movie still almost 25 years later. and oprah..looks a mess. just gotta be honest.

been spending a lot of time just chilling at home. kelly's been busy being girlfriend and i've had the place to myself a lot. its good. updated my itunes with money i dont have. and got a lot of i guess you'd call it fall cleaning done. ready for the right audition to pop up online. i have a feeling, well i have hope that it'll come soon. change needs to come soon.

excited to see my aunt in nov. possibly going down to Ft.Lauderdale this up coming weekend. still debating if my piece of a car will make the 3 hour trip. eh even if it doesnt it'd be an adventure right? eh not one i really would like to take.

excited about Halloween this year. though i feel a little less popular than last year. seeings how i only have plans for 2 parties. one of which im hosting. :/ lame. but the 2 costumes i have planned are bananas.

bed now. tomorrow starts another long week of East High school spirit. how many times am i gonna graduate this damn school?

ps...year of doing HSM3 is just around the corner. god save us.

sparkling

i forget how therapeutic blogspot is. not only writing. but also just browsing for hours reading everyones blog. (which i've done the majority of the night.)

my life is the same. same boy 4. into toy 4. same EHS drama. and annoyances. same stresses about money and life. eh.

i find myself being obsessed with my dog. all he wants to do is play with me. and i love it. we play all night. im a sad cat lady. he's become my bestfriend. tell me its not creepy that i talk to him about life and ask his advice. he doesn't ever help. all he cares about is humping his toys. figures.

thank you Bry and your blog for suppling the soundtrack for my evening.

I find myself missing friends and friendships. I've drifted from a lot of people that i miss alot. a fault of nones. still sucks none the less. also find myself exploring old feelings again. feelings that were never really gone, but i wanted them to be. well see. a lot of people would and will disagree..but its ok. its my life. if im happy. thats truly all i care about.

i swear im not sick. but i cant breathe and now i have a tickle in my throat. this happens like 3 or 4 times a year. damn allergies. o v e r it.

my best friend in the whole wide world is moving to Ireland in a few months. Rebecca...and im so depressed about it. however i am kinda okay with it cause there is a direct flight from orlando to dublin...and she told me she'd fly me out there for my 21st...lets hope she means it. cause that'd be fucking amazing. turn 21 in a pub getting trashed with hot irishmen. done and done.

i wanna have rachel zoe's job. granted i have no schooling to back it up...but i feel like my degree in gay is far more qualified than any internship or college. just my opinion.

i decided my next tattoo. coming to a dev near you. soon. like really soon.

UPDATE!

where the hell have i been? what have i been doing with my fantastic life? i know you're all just dying to know. :)

life...has been a lil much for me to handle right now. so it's been a bit since i've last updated. but im calming myself down, finding the light in it all, and moving forward with as much strength as i can conjure up.

Dusty and i broke up...which really blows. like a lot. i know it was really all for the best. but i miss him. like a lot. part of me still wishes it could work out..but i dont think thats gonna happen. i still love him. very much.

work as been...work. mon-fri hsm-bpb. all day. every day. i love it. but it's so flipping hot. i just want to cry.

as many of you know...or dont. i was diagnosed with stage 2 testicular cancer. in my left friend downstairs. i dont want to say much cause...i'll have a life breakdown. but im scared shitless. that much i do know.

ahhh...enough of that.

stop.

GOOD NEWS...

i have a mini crush on someone.

and by mini i mean not. cause he's 6'4.

and so delicious.

that's all i'll spill for now.

and shut up Bry we get it your physic you knew for weeks. i know i know.

rain rain dont go away

today was an amazing day at East High. besides getting a touch of cabin fever it was grand. i got paid all today to do nothing. it rained all day long. i only got dressed for parade, and did one meet and greet at 5:30. which consisted of one make a wish family. life was good today. and though some people, including my boyfriend, hate storms and panic when one is about. i live for them. the heavy thunder, lighting, even some hail. i love it. the bigger and scarier the better. so i spent most of my day sitting outside on top of the trashcan watching the rain. it was so relaxing to me. 

on other news...

there is no other news. 

over nights soon...yippee

boyfriend leaving soon.

cry myself to sleep now. 

im enlisting people into my very own personal sparkle army. to keep me occupied while he's gone. i know i know im needy. i should be able to go a week without my boo. im spoiled though and havent gone more than like 3 days without seeing him in like 6 months. ugh. but bahamas follow shortly after.  :)

live. peace. love. 

Happy Easter Day!

easter is a fun lil mini holiday. i quite enjoy the candy and the chocolate bunnies.

i got a haircut yesterday. its all cut off. and i hate it. like HATE it. but it's hair. it'll come back. 

hopfully. 

it's POSTSECRET DAY! 

here are my favorites...

   i dont have boobs. but im sure that if i did i would also be afraid of them getting caught in things. such as 3 ring binders. that sounds painful. 

 there are so many things about this secret that i love. 1st would be the adorable little girl screaming at some sort of horse/donkey/something. 2nd would be what it says cause its soooo true. and i just want to say it all the time now. 

 this is too funny to me. and as a gay man if i had such fear as this id live a very lonely sex life. 

hope you've enjoyed my favorites. 

my latest.

i just got my hands on India.Arie's new cd. 'testimony vol 2-love and politics'

brilliant! simply brilliant. it's forever on repeat on my itunes. its amazing. i sugguest you check it out. my favorite song right now is 'He Heals Me'. makes me think of dusty. here's a preview of the lyrics...hope you enjoy. 

India.Arie

'He Heals Me'

He heals me Told him my biggest secret And he told me four. He smiled at me and said that makes me love more And then he made me laugh And I knew it was a sign That he was a man, That I wanted in my life  And with every passing day I feel more and more of that way  He heals me He knows the real me And he accepts me, he never hurts me He heals me He knows the real me And he accepts me, he never hurts me He heals me, He heals me  I can play him songs, all through the night, And he will listen to every line, And even when I'm wrong, he is still kind He chooses his words wisely when he tells me I'm not right.  And yes he is a beautiful man, But he is also a beautiful friend  He heals me He knows the real me And he accepts me, he never hurts me He heals me He knows the real me And he accepts me, he never hurts me He heals me  The moment that we met, he made me smile. He has so much compassion in his eyes I have no idea, how long he'll be here A season or a lifetime, forever or a year But for the first time in my life I'm not worried about the future Because we have such a wonderful time when we're together However things turn out, it's all right Cause he's already changed my life.  He heals me He knows the real me And he accepts me, he never hurts me He heals me He knows the real me And he accepts me, he never hurts me He heals me.......... 

please sir can i have some more?

i hate money. 

i hate not having money. 

it stresses me out so bad. i will be doing fine for a while than all of a sudden...not so much. all of a sudden im negative and i dont know how im going to buy gas. deep breathes. thankfully i have amazing people that help me out from time to time. however i really need to figure out how to not get here again. cause it's not very fun. and its kind of ruining my saturday. but hey in the bigger picture. it's really ok. i could look that that guy up there. 

as usual this is sparkles. 

OMG i just discovered that Miranda (youtube finding in last entry) 

not only is brilliant. 

she's also a disney employee. 

she's equity for HSM3 and Playhouse Disney Live in Disneyland. 

perfection. 

you cuntrag twat

so i tend to have a very vulgar sense of humor from time to time. some get it and laugh it off. others not so much...and that's just dandy. i find saying dirty words and nasty things are kinda of silly. sure it's a bit 90's and a lil immature. but whatever...who gives a shit right? well i stumbled upon these videos on youtube. Jessica and Hunter. they are crude. and nasty. and down right hilarious. they should feel honored because they are now my text tone. and we all text a lot these days so im forever hearing there voices. you should check them out. now...

http://www.youtube.com/user/jchristopher5

in other youtube findings...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uWt2YJCJleY

this bitch is CRAZY! you must go to her page and watch her other videos. (im noticing that this entry is showing how much of a life i dont have) however it is quite entertaining. she's physco.

well after laughing and laughing and crying i got suspicious that lil miranda was not real. so i found my truth. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IsbtRuCDEz8&feature=PlayList&p=0A1B2B8EE0F2A555&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=2

well i was right. but i will tell you she is brilliant!!!! i want to be her very best friend. cause she legit has a facebook and all. i smiled and am a better person because of her videos. 

this has been my insight on youtube findings. 

now onto craigslist to find a life. 

OPA!

Oh Emm Gee...

what a weekend. i def had my own spring break 09. im going to break it down for you...

Saturday- rebecca and ginger land in Orlando. we get our white convertible rent-a-car. (felt quite sexy). get lunch. walmart. show them my hot lil apt. go to there hotel (executive sweet) it was good stuff. felt like a rockstar. then we took a town car to Opa's. Holy hell. dancing on tables. napkins everywhere. and drinking an entire pitcher of drinks = one drunk rebecca. and one FUNNY night. i seriously have never laughed so hard my entire life. i have pictures...but there more black mail than blog approved. 

Sunday- the rain rolled in. :/ so we laughed round the hotel for a lil. allowing rebecca to nurse herself back to health from the night before. go to the mall. dropped it like true divas. and got some sick outfits for da clurb. go to Phouse where it apparently was my turn to be the drunk one. saw the some beautiful ladies perform. laughed. loved. had my man with me. they got to meet some of my friends see what true drag is like. im drunk at this point so we go to IHop to get me some food. where i proceed to vom in the bathroom. yup im classy. meet some shady friends that wanted to have sex with rebecca. lol then we went back to the hotel where i passed out like britney spears after...well everything. 

Monday- started with rockstar roomservice. literally served to us in bed. cause we got it like that. then we went to DAK. saw some shows. (sorry bry) ate some good food. then we had to head over to Epcot where we met up with Dusters. ate at 9 Dragons in china. tin tin was our waiter. (lol) it was amazing. walked around. relived my 1st date with dusty watching illuminations. top night. then we went to incredible ink to get a matching tattoo with rebecca.                                                                                               much cuter in person. it's a 'v' with a leaf. stating that we both pledge to be veg for life. its like kelly green though it doesnt look it in this picture. but i love it. 

then they left today. :( but the weekend def caught up with me cause i am wore out. it was one of the best weekends of my life. i prob have never laughed or been so innapporiate in my entire life. but thats what friends are supposed to do right. 

live.laugh.love.

i wish i could sing like india aire does. although im sure it would sound weird coming out of a tiny lil white boy. still her music inspires me. and makes me feel so creative and at peace. i love. 

so i called in today. opened up all the windows. cleaned the house. took a day for me. i know i took like 2 of those last week too...but what can ya do? rebecca gets here tomorrow. i may have already pissed myself because of how excited i am. were getting a tattoo on monday...only not on my leg. and not so big. were getting in our our wrists.  im excited. rebecca for real is my other half. she gets me so much on so many different levels. she's straight up my karen. i adore her. and i cant wait for the adventures of this weekend. spring break 09 bitches!

days like this really make me think about...i dunno everything. past. where it's gotten me now. how thankful i am. 

i mean really Dusty is my favorite thing in life. i'll just throw that out there right now. 

i can not wait til May 17th. Bahamas baby. with my baby. it's going to be perfection. get jealous. 

my sch at last has come to a normal pace. the past month has been so crazy that my body actually yelled at me and shut down on me last week and i left work early. then took a 3 day weekend. it was highly needed. what's also needed is my mini spring break 09! my best friend ever in life is coming to Orlando this saturday. and it is on! im so excited to see her. and reconnect with her. and uh. have her meet my friends and even more my boyfriend. i still love saying that...my boyfriend. anywho...
i adore kelly martin.

i feel like this is going to be a long week.

oh and im going to the bahamas with my boyfriend in may. the count down begins.

toto...thank you.

one more long week and then i'll be back to some normal life. hopefully. we'll see.
i am quite excited to know Fantasmic though. every one shall come see the tall chimaney sweep on his first night. :)

i've noticed a change in me.
good change mind you.
but a change none the less. more a change in my style, and in the way that i view my everyday and my life.
style wise my hair is totally different...and i love it. it's edgy and fun yet i can get away with it at work. plus it's not the same damn hair cut i've had for the past 7 years. so theres that. and my head band fixation i've had lately. some people hate. some call fierce. but i enjoy the brightly colored bands of color wrapping around my head. and hell as long as i (and my bf) think i look cute...then who the fuck cares? not i.
life wise i look at everyday differently. i'm def more in touch with the spiritual side of me. i talk to my angels everyday. and i know that no matter what situation im in...im in control. i meditate almost everyday. or do different breathing techniques that i do usually more than once a day. it helps me deal with my stress. with annoying/fake people that i have to work in close quarters with. it's helped make me a happier person. i more centered person. im in a much better place these days than i was a year ago when i first moved to o-town.
im so blessed to be where i am right now. people are looisng there jobs left and right in this country...and not only do i have a full time pretty secure job...i get paid to do what i love. dance! and play with kids. and play dress up and make believe. like how many people get to say that in this time of economic hurt? im sure not as much as we think. so im thankful for that. im thankful that i have a roomate that loves and cares for me so much. that i have so much fun with. and my kick ass apartment that i fall in love with more and more every day. and of course there is dusters. who is the greatest thing i've had happen to me in i dunno know how long. i look at him or think of him and im so content. i see a big future with him. i truly love him. i feel so complete right now. so happy. it hasn't been an easy 19 years. that's for sure. but im finally in a place of comfort. drama free (for the most part). happy. fun. loved. loving. ah...it feels amazing.

friends look around at what you have. what you've accomplished. what you've achieved. thank who ever it is you believe in. be it god. or the angel right next to you. or the statue that represents something greater.

xoxo? not so much

new casting brings on a different feel at work. Mondays were once upon a time what i looked forward to out of my week. it was an allstar cast. i usually started it and ending it my carpooling with sarah and bry which i adored. not so much any more. today was a good day. not bad really. just different. not the same monday i've had for the past few months. realizing how many little things are going to change made me a lil sad today. esp with my monkey partner. awesome! (im a bitch. sue me. )

i feel like i've been non-stop working. which for the most part is true. Cobra head last night was not nearly as hard as some made it out to be. i actually killed it. but im fierce anyways...so who really doubted me? oh right! the world. :) im really excited about learning fant! it's a totally different world than anything i've learned with this company. and i love it! i cant wait til i have my first night of show. expect a mass text stating that your ass better be there.

the only shitty thing about rehearsals is it puts a strain on my relationship because we dont hardly get to see eachother except at work. which really doesnt count. lets be real. and with him learning ESPN weekend (which im so proud of him for) and me in Fant! and both of us doing HSM in celebration...there is like no downtime. it sucks lil bit. but in the end im just blessed and thankful that i have someone like him in my life. and i know it's no big thing we'll be fine. just sucks for the time being.

my best friend in the universe is coming to Orlando march 28th-31st. and i couldnt be more excited. she's my soul mate. and she's awesome. and perfectly enough she's coming right in the middle of the week when Dusty is gonna be gone so in the midst of my depression of him being gone...i'll have her to perk me up and get me drunk. im peeing im so excited.

other than that all is well.
life is good. being in love is a dream. make every day full of peace. except when your kind of talking shit about people you danced with today on your public blog. oops. :/ you know you love me.


ps...
i hate erin and bry cause there going to nyc tomorrow.
f'in bitches.

it seems to be the curse of life that every time i have a day off it's either raining or too cold to go to the pool. which i've been craving to do for quite a few weeks now. im getting a lil frustrated with the weather and the weather man. let it be hot! and let me be off to enjoy it!
today has been filled with laundry sorting, washing, and folding...followed by putting them away...ugh. so annoying to be a house wife.

last night Dusty took me out to a really fun trendy resturant. Seito Sushi. it was so good! i've never had sushi before...i enjoyed it. it was so fun. romantic. he's such a prince. he spoils me and makes me feel so loved. im so lucky to have him. :)

tomorrow starts a really long week of Fant! rehearsal. so not ready to be a cobra head.

it's been a while since i last updated.
however im not sure how many people are going around bummed about there day because the devine devin did not update his blogspot. lol not many im sure.
however here we go...
valentines day came and went.
this was my first vd have someone speical in my life. and boy did he spoil me. he had a candle lit dinner outside my the fire under the stars. and it was perfect. with chill music playing in the background. the stars were shinning bright. it was seriously straight up out of the chick flick movie of the summer. i couldnt have been happier or more blessed. all the more reason i find dusty to be perfect.

i started learning Fant! today. boy that show is no joke. i felt a little overwhelmed at first. but in general im extremly excited about the experience and cant wait to get through the rehearsal process so i can just do the show.

oh and i still think im amazing.

childhood

i took a trip down memory lane tonight. looking at old pictures and talking with my aunt about my childhood. i wanted to share what im feeling right now. i still feel very much a child. people tell me im an adult because i have my own place and i support myself with noones help, etc...but i dont believe them. i dont believe that im this 'grown up'. i was always so afraid of growing up. of even graduation day. i didnt really know what i was supposed to be. esp after 7th grade. you see it was in 7th grade that my childhood got a lil...messy. my moms drug problem started and my family pretty much fell apart after that. we never have been close since. anyone. but i remember all the barbeque's and parties we used to have at our house in FL. i used to ride horses that we had, and go 4 wheeling with the neighborhood kids. the little things my mom used to do for me. like leave notes in my lunch box. or pick me up early from school randomly just because. i miss those days sometimes. i am so used to thinking about all the negative things in my life that i forgot about all the fun times we used to have. how much of a family we were. i wonder how different things would be if we were still like that. but i do believe that i am very much who i am today because of the shit i had to go through. im very strong and brave, at least i think i am, because of it all. still my mom always says please remember the good mom you had, not the drug addict. and i know she wont read this but i want her to know that every time i think of her that's the first thing i think of. her waking me up at 3am as a lil boy cause it was snowing, or because the wizard of oz was on tv. that valentines day in 4th grade when she brought 33 red balloons with heart candies tied on the end for everyone in my class. and McDonalds for everyone. (i was real popular after that)
i love my family. as fucked up as it may be. and has distant as it all is. i am who i am because of it. i forget that sometimes.

sunday!

so still addicted to postsecret like it's some internet drug. not nearly as addicted as i am to facebook, i know i need a life.
i was entertained by this weeks post but only have one favorite that i want to share.





i do this.
sorry kelly.
:)
have a great week.

so the cast list dropped today. which is a day of pins and needles at the Walt Disney World company for Entertainment. it entails a lot of tears for some, and smiles for others. This casting was no exception. At least 5 people in my break room were in tears, that's not to count the other people im sure that felt in the same in other break rooms across property. I don't mean to boast. but it is MY blog, so i will. I got an amazing 5 day Highschool Musical casting. with the days i wanted off and all. To think of how far I've come in this company is amazing. Starting with my 5 day boat dock hell. then day a week Tweedle Dum into Spectro Magic....ugh the hell. To now being able to do what I've always wanted HSM, every week. Ugh i cried i was so happy. So heres to an amazing '09...it's gonna be just fine.

post this

sunday came and went. id have to agree with erin postsecret this week was a little well, weak. here are my two...




well it's on a spectro magic postcard. clearly im going to love this.









i have this feeling some days. esp at a bpb cross training night.

mush....

Went to Animal Kingdom for the very first time today. Not gonna lie, I had an amazing time. Of course it helped that I was with my man...but it was a beautiful day. No lines, went and saw everything we wanted. It was truly a great, relaxing, fun day. It's not just the beautiful animals, and the breeze, and the warm sun, it's him.
For those that hate mush talk, click away.
I'm so blessed.
I have my stresses, and nothing is perfect in life. However...in all I'm so happy. So content. Having him in my life in the way that he is has completely changed me for the better. It's a look, a touch, and a kiss. All my worries are away. We spent the better part of the past 3 days together. Nights included. We've just been so busy that quality 'us' time hadn't really happened. To wake up and see him, roll over and hold him. is my heaven. I am so in love with him. Like what you see in the movies, or read in books. What I have used to make me wanna vom. Now it's my heroin and I cant get enough of him.

Obama 2009

tomorrow morning our new president Barack Obama will be sworn in. i sit here in my bedroom thinking about what that really means. it's so historic. clearly because he's african american. but also because of his beliefs. i know it's not going to be quick. i know things arent going to magically get better. most likely will take longer than 4 years. however it's a right step. it's the right step. i feel so apart of this election. mainly because it's really the 1st one i've followed and been interested in. but also because i feel like our entire young generation stood up and said something. most of us went out and did something about all the things we sit around work, and online bitching about. i know i did. it's empowering. look what we can do. how lucky we are to live in a country such as America. how lucky we are to be able to disagree with each other. to stand up and have a say. to have a blog that we document every or anything that happens in our life. to have that freedom. to have that dream, if you will. thank you mr.king. i truly believe that peace is possible. it's more than a word. it's a breathe of hope. that we are all one. we are all american people. we are black. we are white. rich and poor. gay straight whatever you believe. we are red, and white, and blue. and that's a powerful thing. im so excited for tomorrow to watch and live this day in history. to feel this empowerment. it's a beautiful thing. and im loving every second of it. will.i.am is one of my favorite musical artist. but i may have fallen more in love with him for 2 of his songs that he has released about this election and about our president elect. one is 'Yes We Can', which im sure most of the 5 people that follow this blog have read, and the 2nd is 'It's A New Day' (which is my favorite) every time i listen to those songs i get goosebumps. i feel, ugh alive? i feel so strong. so about it all! i just want to get up and get out and show the world how i feel, and how passionate i am about this. making my voice heard. making my beliefs something worth listening to and considering. one day i hope i will be looked at in this country as an equal citizen. i wont give up hope until that day. but i do believe that tomorrow is a perfect step in that direction. in the direction for everyone of us. USA is A-Okay! *wink*

SUNDAY

it's sunday. which means postsecret day!
erin had a few entries about postsecret this past week.
these are the 2 secrets from this week that i really liked and related to.






i really do.












for those of you who dont know. ive been battling an eating disorder for 6 years now. it's an everyday struggle, so i really can relate to this post.

lets sofa dive together

for some reason i thought this was the cutest and funniest thing i'd seen in a long time. i think we need more of this in our lives. all of us. look how happy those babies were. just jumping off the couch. i want more of that. today after our last show of hsm we did a meet and greet for a little girl. her name was Elizabeth. she was 4 1/2 years young. she watched 4 of our 6 shows today and is a huge sharpay fan. she's apart of the make a wish program. im not exactly sure what was wrong with her, but her mom did tell us that she's had 4 heart surgeries and are hoping thats it. it put things in perspective. having to go through that and still having as much joy as this little girl did. she just wanted to dance and laugh and i told her she was beautiful and she said thank you and gave me a huge hug. i couldnt help but cry a little bit. we complain about the silliest things. even i today was bitching about not liking my phone. then this little angel reminded me that there are so many other important things in this life to be thankful for. to stop and be joyous about. like sofa diving. take a second, be joyous. be grateful. be a child.

day of nothing

i live the quiet days like today. i woke up to my beautiful boyfriend. kissed him off to work. got up did some laundry and hung up some pictures in the still very new apartment. then the nothing began. it feels nice every once in a while to let go and be boring. esp. in the line of work that i am in. ya know stripping. ;)
let your mind wander into the hundreds of different directions that it does. the stalking of facebook. but im over it now. ready to go back to work bright and early tomorrow.

had color coding last night. was simple enough. did the advanced routine, did some animating. did put somethings into perspective for me. seeing the what seemed to be endless amount of entertainment people that i did not know. i guess living in the same spaces with the same people working the same shift every day you forget how many other people are in the same department. and how good we have it. we may bitch, we may moan, and we may be over it half the time. but for me personally it's a dream. it's a blessing. we have it pretty good. we have it pretty damn good. and i just hope that in the upcoming weeks when the new casting starts that i get to stay so lucky.
ugh over talking about work.

last night i had one of the most amazing nights of my entire life. after color code kelly and i were both so over it we decided to have a fat ass night. so we got waaay to much food and had Dusty came over. we played shakey face (hilarious) and watched movies. amazing.

celebrate you

yes the rumors are true. the paparazzi got all the good shots. it's all over cnn and mtv. so i figured the least i can do is be open and honest with all my fans.
i am now an american idol
i am now a top model
all in one day.
here's how....

Hollywood Studios has a new attraction coming this spring called the 'American Idol' experience. where our guests will be able to audition and possibly perform for 'producers' in a finale show. so before they open it they are having some cast members go in and audition to allow them to work out some kinks and to give everyone a feel of what it'd be like for actual auditions. it was quite fun. i sang somewhere over the rainbow. i won. im an american idol. i'll be touring spring of 2010.

secondly i spent my evening going with Sarah to get her totally rockstar bangs. pictures soon to come. then when Bry got wind of such fierceness that led to a photoshoot with his new sick camera. pictures also soon to come. his creative angels and ideas of where to place us both are amazing. he really has a talent in this. made me feel like a top model.

for the record...i live for chimanea nights.
my boy.
my best girl.
ugh. what the doctor ordered.

Dusty

it was fun and games until i fell in love. Dusty. rather Dustin. our journey hasn't been what some would consider normal. but in all it's worked out well for us. i cant describe in words, or on paper, or on the internet what i feel for him. Dusty went from just a friend, to someone that i had feelings for, to that one special person in my life. i can tell him anything. be my everything. and he still loves me. we laugh all the time. we vent. we cuddle. we get each other. it fits just like a puzzle. like i've been searching for him. i look at him and im at ease. he calls and i start smiling. he touches me and my body starts tingling. im not afraid of the future cause when im with him im just excited about it. we've never had a dull moment. never a bad day. he's my best friend. my guy. my dusty. im so lucky to have found him. he brings so much light and joy into my life. it was a hard choice i had to make 3 months ago. but i took a risk and i've never been happier. besides he's really sexy.

1st

i always said i wanted to go out into the world and do what i wanted. not what was expected of me. or what is the 'norm' to do. a long time ago i decided i wanted to work for Disney. i never realized what that actually meant. or that i'd actually make it a reality. it's been almost a year in this magical place. a year that has flown by. i've made amazing friends. learned some important lessons of life and have done some of the most amazing things that this life has offered me yet. i'll never forget any of it. and i know there is much to come. it's a new year. 2009 is young. full of possibilities and opportunities. i just moved into a beautiful apartment with an amazing girl. and i followed my heart, took a risk and have the most amazing guy in my life that someone could ask for. i'm truly blessed. in this time of economic hurt, i have a great job with good benefits that wont soon be gone. and i get to bring happiness to people of all ages during these hard times. things are falling into place. i'm not only happy. i'm full of joy. contentment. peace. and love. i am alive.