my sch at last has come to a normal pace. the past month has been so crazy that my body actually yelled at me and shut down on me last week and i left work early. then took a 3 day weekend. it was highly needed. what's also needed is my mini spring break 09! my best friend ever in life is coming to Orlando this saturday. and it is on! im so excited to see her. and reconnect with her. and uh. have her meet my friends and even more my boyfriend. i still love saying that...my boyfriend. anywho...
i adore kelly martin.

i feel like this is going to be a long week.

oh and im going to the bahamas with my boyfriend in may. the count down begins.

toto...thank you.

one more long week and then i'll be back to some normal life. hopefully. we'll see.
i am quite excited to know Fantasmic though. every one shall come see the tall chimaney sweep on his first night. :)

i've noticed a change in me.
good change mind you.
but a change none the less. more a change in my style, and in the way that i view my everyday and my life.
style wise my hair is totally different...and i love it. it's edgy and fun yet i can get away with it at work. plus it's not the same damn hair cut i've had for the past 7 years. so theres that. and my head band fixation i've had lately. some people hate. some call fierce. but i enjoy the brightly colored bands of color wrapping around my head. and hell as long as i (and my bf) think i look cute...then who the fuck cares? not i.
life wise i look at everyday differently. i'm def more in touch with the spiritual side of me. i talk to my angels everyday. and i know that no matter what situation im in...im in control. i meditate almost everyday. or do different breathing techniques that i do usually more than once a day. it helps me deal with my stress. with annoying/fake people that i have to work in close quarters with. it's helped make me a happier person. i more centered person. im in a much better place these days than i was a year ago when i first moved to o-town.
im so blessed to be where i am right now. people are looisng there jobs left and right in this country...and not only do i have a full time pretty secure job...i get paid to do what i love. dance! and play with kids. and play dress up and make believe. like how many people get to say that in this time of economic hurt? im sure not as much as we think. so im thankful for that. im thankful that i have a roomate that loves and cares for me so much. that i have so much fun with. and my kick ass apartment that i fall in love with more and more every day. and of course there is dusters. who is the greatest thing i've had happen to me in i dunno know how long. i look at him or think of him and im so content. i see a big future with him. i truly love him. i feel so complete right now. so happy. it hasn't been an easy 19 years. that's for sure. but im finally in a place of comfort. drama free (for the most part). happy. fun. loved. loving. ah...it feels amazing.

friends look around at what you have. what you've accomplished. what you've achieved. thank who ever it is you believe in. be it god. or the angel right next to you. or the statue that represents something greater.

xoxo? not so much

new casting brings on a different feel at work. Mondays were once upon a time what i looked forward to out of my week. it was an allstar cast. i usually started it and ending it my carpooling with sarah and bry which i adored. not so much any more. today was a good day. not bad really. just different. not the same monday i've had for the past few months. realizing how many little things are going to change made me a lil sad today. esp with my monkey partner. awesome! (im a bitch. sue me. )

i feel like i've been non-stop working. which for the most part is true. Cobra head last night was not nearly as hard as some made it out to be. i actually killed it. but im fierce anyways...so who really doubted me? oh right! the world. :) im really excited about learning fant! it's a totally different world than anything i've learned with this company. and i love it! i cant wait til i have my first night of show. expect a mass text stating that your ass better be there.

the only shitty thing about rehearsals is it puts a strain on my relationship because we dont hardly get to see eachother except at work. which really doesnt count. lets be real. and with him learning ESPN weekend (which im so proud of him for) and me in Fant! and both of us doing HSM in celebration...there is like no downtime. it sucks lil bit. but in the end im just blessed and thankful that i have someone like him in my life. and i know it's no big thing we'll be fine. just sucks for the time being.

my best friend in the universe is coming to Orlando march 28th-31st. and i couldnt be more excited. she's my soul mate. and she's awesome. and perfectly enough she's coming right in the middle of the week when Dusty is gonna be gone so in the midst of my depression of him being gone...i'll have her to perk me up and get me drunk. im peeing im so excited.

other than that all is well.
life is good. being in love is a dream. make every day full of peace. except when your kind of talking shit about people you danced with today on your public blog. oops. :/ you know you love me.


ps...
i hate erin and bry cause there going to nyc tomorrow.
f'in bitches.

it seems to be the curse of life that every time i have a day off it's either raining or too cold to go to the pool. which i've been craving to do for quite a few weeks now. im getting a lil frustrated with the weather and the weather man. let it be hot! and let me be off to enjoy it!
today has been filled with laundry sorting, washing, and folding...followed by putting them away...ugh. so annoying to be a house wife.

last night Dusty took me out to a really fun trendy resturant. Seito Sushi. it was so good! i've never had sushi before...i enjoyed it. it was so fun. romantic. he's such a prince. he spoils me and makes me feel so loved. im so lucky to have him. :)

tomorrow starts a really long week of Fant! rehearsal. so not ready to be a cobra head.

it's been a while since i last updated.
however im not sure how many people are going around bummed about there day because the devine devin did not update his blogspot. lol not many im sure.
however here we go...
valentines day came and went.
this was my first vd have someone speical in my life. and boy did he spoil me. he had a candle lit dinner outside my the fire under the stars. and it was perfect. with chill music playing in the background. the stars were shinning bright. it was seriously straight up out of the chick flick movie of the summer. i couldnt have been happier or more blessed. all the more reason i find dusty to be perfect.

i started learning Fant! today. boy that show is no joke. i felt a little overwhelmed at first. but in general im extremly excited about the experience and cant wait to get through the rehearsal process so i can just do the show.

oh and i still think im amazing.

childhood

i took a trip down memory lane tonight. looking at old pictures and talking with my aunt about my childhood. i wanted to share what im feeling right now. i still feel very much a child. people tell me im an adult because i have my own place and i support myself with noones help, etc...but i dont believe them. i dont believe that im this 'grown up'. i was always so afraid of growing up. of even graduation day. i didnt really know what i was supposed to be. esp after 7th grade. you see it was in 7th grade that my childhood got a lil...messy. my moms drug problem started and my family pretty much fell apart after that. we never have been close since. anyone. but i remember all the barbeque's and parties we used to have at our house in FL. i used to ride horses that we had, and go 4 wheeling with the neighborhood kids. the little things my mom used to do for me. like leave notes in my lunch box. or pick me up early from school randomly just because. i miss those days sometimes. i am so used to thinking about all the negative things in my life that i forgot about all the fun times we used to have. how much of a family we were. i wonder how different things would be if we were still like that. but i do believe that i am very much who i am today because of the shit i had to go through. im very strong and brave, at least i think i am, because of it all. still my mom always says please remember the good mom you had, not the drug addict. and i know she wont read this but i want her to know that every time i think of her that's the first thing i think of. her waking me up at 3am as a lil boy cause it was snowing, or because the wizard of oz was on tv. that valentines day in 4th grade when she brought 33 red balloons with heart candies tied on the end for everyone in my class. and McDonalds for everyone. (i was real popular after that)
i love my family. as fucked up as it may be. and has distant as it all is. i am who i am because of it. i forget that sometimes.

sunday!

so still addicted to postsecret like it's some internet drug. not nearly as addicted as i am to facebook, i know i need a life.
i was entertained by this weeks post but only have one favorite that i want to share.





i do this.
sorry kelly.
:)
have a great week.