UPDATE!

where the hell have i been? what have i been doing with my fantastic life? i know you're all just dying to know. :)

life...has been a lil much for me to handle right now. so it's been a bit since i've last updated. but im calming myself down, finding the light in it all, and moving forward with as much strength as i can conjure up.

Dusty and i broke up...which really blows. like a lot. i know it was really all for the best. but i miss him. like a lot. part of me still wishes it could work out..but i dont think thats gonna happen. i still love him. very much.

work as been...work. mon-fri hsm-bpb. all day. every day. i love it. but it's so flipping hot. i just want to cry.

as many of you know...or dont. i was diagnosed with stage 2 testicular cancer. in my left friend downstairs. i dont want to say much cause...i'll have a life breakdown. but im scared shitless. that much i do know.

ahhh...enough of that.

stop.

GOOD NEWS...

i have a mini crush on someone.

and by mini i mean not. cause he's 6'4.

and so delicious.

that's all i'll spill for now.

and shut up Bry we get it your physic you knew for weeks. i know i know.

rain rain dont go away

today was an amazing day at East High. besides getting a touch of cabin fever it was grand. i got paid all today to do nothing. it rained all day long. i only got dressed for parade, and did one meet and greet at 5:30. which consisted of one make a wish family. life was good today. and though some people, including my boyfriend, hate storms and panic when one is about. i live for them. the heavy thunder, lighting, even some hail. i love it. the bigger and scarier the better. so i spent most of my day sitting outside on top of the trashcan watching the rain. it was so relaxing to me. 

on other news...

there is no other news. 

over nights soon...yippee

boyfriend leaving soon.

cry myself to sleep now. 

im enlisting people into my very own personal sparkle army. to keep me occupied while he's gone. i know i know im needy. i should be able to go a week without my boo. im spoiled though and havent gone more than like 3 days without seeing him in like 6 months. ugh. but bahamas follow shortly after.  :)

live. peace. love. 

Happy Easter Day!

easter is a fun lil mini holiday. i quite enjoy the candy and the chocolate bunnies.

i got a haircut yesterday. its all cut off. and i hate it. like HATE it. but it's hair. it'll come back. 

hopfully. 

it's POSTSECRET DAY! 

here are my favorites...

   i dont have boobs. but im sure that if i did i would also be afraid of them getting caught in things. such as 3 ring binders. that sounds painful. 

 there are so many things about this secret that i love. 1st would be the adorable little girl screaming at some sort of horse/donkey/something. 2nd would be what it says cause its soooo true. and i just want to say it all the time now. 

 this is too funny to me. and as a gay man if i had such fear as this id live a very lonely sex life. 

hope you've enjoyed my favorites. 

my latest.

i just got my hands on India.Arie's new cd. 'testimony vol 2-love and politics'

brilliant! simply brilliant. it's forever on repeat on my itunes. its amazing. i sugguest you check it out. my favorite song right now is 'He Heals Me'. makes me think of dusty. here's a preview of the lyrics...hope you enjoy. 

India.Arie

'He Heals Me'

He heals me Told him my biggest secret And he told me four. He smiled at me and said that makes me love more And then he made me laugh And I knew it was a sign That he was a man, That I wanted in my life  And with every passing day I feel more and more of that way  He heals me He knows the real me And he accepts me, he never hurts me He heals me He knows the real me And he accepts me, he never hurts me He heals me, He heals me  I can play him songs, all through the night, And he will listen to every line, And even when I'm wrong, he is still kind He chooses his words wisely when he tells me I'm not right.  And yes he is a beautiful man, But he is also a beautiful friend  He heals me He knows the real me And he accepts me, he never hurts me He heals me He knows the real me And he accepts me, he never hurts me He heals me  The moment that we met, he made me smile. He has so much compassion in his eyes I have no idea, how long he'll be here A season or a lifetime, forever or a year But for the first time in my life I'm not worried about the future Because we have such a wonderful time when we're together However things turn out, it's all right Cause he's already changed my life.  He heals me He knows the real me And he accepts me, he never hurts me He heals me He knows the real me And he accepts me, he never hurts me He heals me.......... 

please sir can i have some more?

i hate money. 

i hate not having money. 

it stresses me out so bad. i will be doing fine for a while than all of a sudden...not so much. all of a sudden im negative and i dont know how im going to buy gas. deep breathes. thankfully i have amazing people that help me out from time to time. however i really need to figure out how to not get here again. cause it's not very fun. and its kind of ruining my saturday. but hey in the bigger picture. it's really ok. i could look that that guy up there. 

as usual this is sparkles. 

OMG i just discovered that Miranda (youtube finding in last entry) 

not only is brilliant. 

she's also a disney employee. 

she's equity for HSM3 and Playhouse Disney Live in Disneyland. 

perfection. 

you cuntrag twat

so i tend to have a very vulgar sense of humor from time to time. some get it and laugh it off. others not so much...and that's just dandy. i find saying dirty words and nasty things are kinda of silly. sure it's a bit 90's and a lil immature. but whatever...who gives a shit right? well i stumbled upon these videos on youtube. Jessica and Hunter. they are crude. and nasty. and down right hilarious. they should feel honored because they are now my text tone. and we all text a lot these days so im forever hearing there voices. you should check them out. now...

http://www.youtube.com/user/jchristopher5

in other youtube findings...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uWt2YJCJleY

this bitch is CRAZY! you must go to her page and watch her other videos. (im noticing that this entry is showing how much of a life i dont have) however it is quite entertaining. she's physco.

well after laughing and laughing and crying i got suspicious that lil miranda was not real. so i found my truth. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IsbtRuCDEz8&feature=PlayList&p=0A1B2B8EE0F2A555&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=2

well i was right. but i will tell you she is brilliant!!!! i want to be her very best friend. cause she legit has a facebook and all. i smiled and am a better person because of her videos. 

this has been my insight on youtube findings. 

now onto craigslist to find a life.