I watched the Color Purple tonight. not gonna lie...I love the soul that black people have. esp at the end when there just going to town singing in the church. one day. ugh if only. such a powerful movie still almost 25 years later. and oprah..looks a mess. just gotta be honest.

been spending a lot of time just chilling at home. kelly's been busy being girlfriend and i've had the place to myself a lot. its good. updated my itunes with money i dont have. and got a lot of i guess you'd call it fall cleaning done. ready for the right audition to pop up online. i have a feeling, well i have hope that it'll come soon. change needs to come soon.

excited to see my aunt in nov. possibly going down to Ft.Lauderdale this up coming weekend. still debating if my piece of a car will make the 3 hour trip. eh even if it doesnt it'd be an adventure right? eh not one i really would like to take.

excited about Halloween this year. though i feel a little less popular than last year. seeings how i only have plans for 2 parties. one of which im hosting. :/ lame. but the 2 costumes i have planned are bananas.

bed now. tomorrow starts another long week of East High school spirit. how many times am i gonna graduate this damn school?

ps...year of doing HSM3 is just around the corner. god save us.

sparkling

i forget how therapeutic blogspot is. not only writing. but also just browsing for hours reading everyones blog. (which i've done the majority of the night.)

my life is the same. same boy 4. into toy 4. same EHS drama. and annoyances. same stresses about money and life. eh.

i find myself being obsessed with my dog. all he wants to do is play with me. and i love it. we play all night. im a sad cat lady. he's become my bestfriend. tell me its not creepy that i talk to him about life and ask his advice. he doesn't ever help. all he cares about is humping his toys. figures.

thank you Bry and your blog for suppling the soundtrack for my evening.

I find myself missing friends and friendships. I've drifted from a lot of people that i miss alot. a fault of nones. still sucks none the less. also find myself exploring old feelings again. feelings that were never really gone, but i wanted them to be. well see. a lot of people would and will disagree..but its ok. its my life. if im happy. thats truly all i care about.

i swear im not sick. but i cant breathe and now i have a tickle in my throat. this happens like 3 or 4 times a year. damn allergies. o v e r it.

my best friend in the whole wide world is moving to Ireland in a few months. Rebecca...and im so depressed about it. however i am kinda okay with it cause there is a direct flight from orlando to dublin...and she told me she'd fly me out there for my 21st...lets hope she means it. cause that'd be fucking amazing. turn 21 in a pub getting trashed with hot irishmen. done and done.

i wanna have rachel zoe's job. granted i have no schooling to back it up...but i feel like my degree in gay is far more qualified than any internship or college. just my opinion.

i decided my next tattoo. coming to a dev near you. soon. like really soon.

UPDATE!

where the hell have i been? what have i been doing with my fantastic life? i know you're all just dying to know. :)

life...has been a lil much for me to handle right now. so it's been a bit since i've last updated. but im calming myself down, finding the light in it all, and moving forward with as much strength as i can conjure up.

Dusty and i broke up...which really blows. like a lot. i know it was really all for the best. but i miss him. like a lot. part of me still wishes it could work out..but i dont think thats gonna happen. i still love him. very much.

work as been...work. mon-fri hsm-bpb. all day. every day. i love it. but it's so flipping hot. i just want to cry.

as many of you know...or dont. i was diagnosed with stage 2 testicular cancer. in my left friend downstairs. i dont want to say much cause...i'll have a life breakdown. but im scared shitless. that much i do know.

ahhh...enough of that.

stop.

GOOD NEWS...

i have a mini crush on someone.

and by mini i mean not. cause he's 6'4.

and so delicious.

that's all i'll spill for now.

and shut up Bry we get it your physic you knew for weeks. i know i know.

rain rain dont go away

today was an amazing day at East High. besides getting a touch of cabin fever it was grand. i got paid all today to do nothing. it rained all day long. i only got dressed for parade, and did one meet and greet at 5:30. which consisted of one make a wish family. life was good today. and though some people, including my boyfriend, hate storms and panic when one is about. i live for them. the heavy thunder, lighting, even some hail. i love it. the bigger and scarier the better. so i spent most of my day sitting outside on top of the trashcan watching the rain. it was so relaxing to me. 

on other news...

there is no other news. 

over nights soon...yippee

boyfriend leaving soon.

cry myself to sleep now. 

im enlisting people into my very own personal sparkle army. to keep me occupied while he's gone. i know i know im needy. i should be able to go a week without my boo. im spoiled though and havent gone more than like 3 days without seeing him in like 6 months. ugh. but bahamas follow shortly after.  :)

live. peace. love. 

Happy Easter Day!

easter is a fun lil mini holiday. i quite enjoy the candy and the chocolate bunnies.

i got a haircut yesterday. its all cut off. and i hate it. like HATE it. but it's hair. it'll come back. 

hopfully. 

it's POSTSECRET DAY! 

here are my favorites...

   i dont have boobs. but im sure that if i did i would also be afraid of them getting caught in things. such as 3 ring binders. that sounds painful. 

 there are so many things about this secret that i love. 1st would be the adorable little girl screaming at some sort of horse/donkey/something. 2nd would be what it says cause its soooo true. and i just want to say it all the time now. 

 this is too funny to me. and as a gay man if i had such fear as this id live a very lonely sex life. 

hope you've enjoyed my favorites. 

my latest.

i just got my hands on India.Arie's new cd. 'testimony vol 2-love and politics'

brilliant! simply brilliant. it's forever on repeat on my itunes. its amazing. i sugguest you check it out. my favorite song right now is 'He Heals Me'. makes me think of dusty. here's a preview of the lyrics...hope you enjoy. 

India.Arie

'He Heals Me'

He heals me Told him my biggest secret And he told me four. He smiled at me and said that makes me love more And then he made me laugh And I knew it was a sign That he was a man, That I wanted in my life  And with every passing day I feel more and more of that way  He heals me He knows the real me And he accepts me, he never hurts me He heals me He knows the real me And he accepts me, he never hurts me He heals me, He heals me  I can play him songs, all through the night, And he will listen to every line, And even when I'm wrong, he is still kind He chooses his words wisely when he tells me I'm not right.  And yes he is a beautiful man, But he is also a beautiful friend  He heals me He knows the real me And he accepts me, he never hurts me He heals me He knows the real me And he accepts me, he never hurts me He heals me  The moment that we met, he made me smile. He has so much compassion in his eyes I have no idea, how long he'll be here A season or a lifetime, forever or a year But for the first time in my life I'm not worried about the future Because we have such a wonderful time when we're together However things turn out, it's all right Cause he's already changed my life.  He heals me He knows the real me And he accepts me, he never hurts me He heals me He knows the real me And he accepts me, he never hurts me He heals me.......... 

please sir can i have some more?

i hate money. 

i hate not having money. 

it stresses me out so bad. i will be doing fine for a while than all of a sudden...not so much. all of a sudden im negative and i dont know how im going to buy gas. deep breathes. thankfully i have amazing people that help me out from time to time. however i really need to figure out how to not get here again. cause it's not very fun. and its kind of ruining my saturday. but hey in the bigger picture. it's really ok. i could look that that guy up there. 

as usual this is sparkles.